U.B.E.

October 10, 2005 - was such a tiring day for me (as always) especially that it is a Monday and it is really indeed so toxic at work. I left the office around 8pm. While i was on the way home, Voila! My Kuya texted me asking where am i. I replied and told him that i was on my way home and i asked why. He asked me to have dinner with him in Tolda Grill (me and my best bud Tin's hangout in Shaw Blvd). I dropped off at Kalentong and rented the internet for half an hour just to be able to talk to Kuya on YM since he is still in the office and is not replying to my text anymore. He then asked me to go directly home instead and get some rest, since he couldn't leave the office yet. I felt sad. Because i miss My Kuya so much - in every sense of the word. So i told him that i'd just finish the couple of mins left on my 30 mins slot on the internet hub, then i'd go home right after. He said ok. But after just a coupla mins, he changed his mind again and asked me to go to Tolda Grill so we could have dinner. Yipee! I then rushed off and meet him up in the said place. I got there first and waited for him. When he got there, i hugged him so tight. My Kuya is still the same. He still looks so gwapo (just like me...) hehehe. Anyway, we had Sisig A La Tolda and Kare Kare for dinner. Plus 6 bottles of San Mig Light. I was shocked coz i thought we will just have dinner. But anyhow, i find it cool coz atleast we could have our Ultimate Bonding Experience again after a long time. So there, after eating and while drinking, we were talking. We talked about a lot of things. We talked about our lives. We talked about our plan to go out of the country together to work and earn more money. He even suggested Canada and ofcourse i said Yes! Because i really wanna go there and that's where my Mommy Ninang resides. Anyhow, the rest of what we talked about will be kept with me. The rest is history. All i can say is that i really had fun and had a wonderful time with My Kuya and that i couldn't forget this one moment in our lives. Can't wait for another one, Kuya! Soon! I'll always be your 'kasmot' / 'kuling' and I Love You!

Dilemma.

i miss my blogsite. i hate it that i have no time for bloggin since im seriously busy with work. i feel really stressed. im scared that i suddenly might be rushed to the hospital due to over fatigue. i wish not. i have the feeling that im already bein a workaholic now. and i guess it aint good. i even feel sometimes that i might just collapse. not good at all. well, cant help it to just work and work and work coz i wanna keep myself really busy. i dont wanna be idle. i hate it. i just get to feel sad and think about a lot of things during idle times. a lot of things have been happenin lately. its not good to always talk about problems in here. i wish someday id be writing happy memories in my turf. my friends always ask me - "are you ok?" and i just tell them "what do you think? obviously im not ok!". what a silly question. i feel so down. i feel so low. i have a lot of issues on myself right now. it includes the usual - my family probs, my work and some other. im so tired. my minds all messed up. my heart is so overused. i just dont understand why some people cannot be true to themselves. they always pretend and hide their real self. some people lie and deny just to save their faces and just to wash their own hands. too bad. they may not know its no good at all or maybe they are just bein insensitive and dont care about other peoples feelings. they always keep the 'i-dont-care-about-you' attitude. i really need a break. i need to get away. to sort things out and clear my mind. i need time for myself. just me, myself and i - for me to be able to find myself again. to realize who i really am and where i really belong. this has always been my dilemma. in the 24 years of my life, i always feel so outcast. i dont want to think that people loves to just use me. my friends always say that i am so kind, so good; that people take advantage of me. that is my weakness and i hate it. i am not weird, just eccentric. ill get away now ok? im out! poof!

My Star.

August 31, 2005 - Wednesday, was just an ordinary day. I went to work so early and did my stuffs. Whole day of freakin non stop workin. I dont feel really well and in fact, i was feelin lazy and even feelin lazy to tap my fingers on the keyboard but still i worked my ass out and tried to finish at least 45 accounts for my day productivity. After that, i was tired, hungry, and all - then my boss suddenly announced that he'll be treating the whole team for a buffet on dinner time and we'll be having our team bonding. Everybody was happy to hear that. At exactly 7:00 p.m., everybody rushed off to Shang-rila in Bon Appetit restaurant where the little get together will be held. I was with my best office bud Tin, and the two ladies Joey and Diane. We were supposed to take a cab goin to the said place but there was none, so we decided to take the legendary tricycle instead. It was us who first arrived in the place. I asked the waiter to show us the table reserved for our team so he headed us to the main attraction table. I sat and just looked around. I was drummin my fingers on the table and suddenly, Joey whispered to me 'di ba yan yung sa starstruck?' and I followed where Joey was lookin and poof! unexpectedly - I saw the most beautiful gurl i've ever seen - my biggest crush LJ Reyes! OhMiGosh! I didnt know how i felt at that time. All i can remember was, my hands and knees were shakin and i cant breath. My eyes were stucked on to her. I didnt manage to eat well coz i just enjoyed starin at her. She's got the sweetest smile ive ever seen in a celebrity. And she's got the cutest dimples, i swear! I was so happy i've got the chance to see her personally even if I didnt get to talk to her. But starin at her from an 8 step distance is really a dream come true. She is very pretty and even beautiful. She is a star and is indeed my star. And i was not just starstrucked but i guess i was lovestrucked. Only if she's not a million miles away from me.

The Bond.

After exactly 15 days, i was able to blog again. Wow. I missed doing this. I've always been wanting to blog but i just have no time. Too bad. Everyday, i got a lot of things in my mind to share but i just dont have the freakin chance to log-on. Poor me.
It was quite a fun day at work today since it was declared a 'jeans day'. And this is very rare. That's why when our internal emails received a message from the bosses declaring that it's a friday jeans day again, we all jump for joy. Kool aye?

Anyway, i just remember and just wanted to share this. Last Saturday, July 9 - I went to Owane's place and spent time with her. For the benefit of those who doesn't know, Owane is my twin bro. We're twin brothers by heart and soul. She's also like me (if you get what i mean by that...) I visited her in her condo unit and had some fun time and bonding. I brought a coupla bottles of beer and some chips. After eating the great dinner she prepared for me (with the yummiest rice i have ever tried my whole life - love you kambal! ), we then had a lil piss-up while sharing stories and giving each other some updates on what's happenin with our lives right now. We had a great time while laughin our hearts out. I slept over since we finished by 2am of Sunday already. Then on Sunday, we ate breakfast together and then watched TV. After that, she showed me her photo collection. Wonderful. I left her around 9pm on that same day and finally got home by 10pm.

Message for my 'kambal': "bro i missed you more than ever. and i thank you for the great night we had. hope we could do that more often. love u bro!"

Satisfaction.

Why do people complain? why do i complain? It's always a question i cannot answer. But i've come to realize that it's no good. And the only reason why people complain is because they are not satisfied of whatever they already have in their lives; and they always want more. I just have to say that, i think we all have more to be grateful than to complain about. Do we lose sight of what's important or is it that we are just selfish so we keep wanting more? Well, it should not be the latter. I remember my mother. I remember the times when she was still here with us. We are not a rich family. We don't have lotsa money but we have just about enough. And that is all because of her. She was always working hard for our family. but i never hear a single complaint from her. She remained the pinnacle of gratefulness. She is my inspiration. She was the one who taught me the true meaning of life.

So as i write this blog, i can't help but think that I am very lucky for what I have. My life aint perfect. Nothing is perfect, anyway. But it isnt important. What's important is that I am happy and contented and most of all satisfied with what the life and the good Lord gives me.

Stop and take a minute to think about your own life. I bet it won't take long to appreciate all you have. I look at it this way. We have a very short time on this earth... To make those we love know it. Hurry up or you'll end up full of regrets.