Dilemma.

i miss my blogsite. i hate it that i have no time for bloggin since im seriously busy with work. i feel really stressed. im scared that i suddenly might be rushed to the hospital due to over fatigue. i wish not. i have the feeling that im already bein a workaholic now. and i guess it aint good. i even feel sometimes that i might just collapse. not good at all. well, cant help it to just work and work and work coz i wanna keep myself really busy. i dont wanna be idle. i hate it. i just get to feel sad and think about a lot of things during idle times. a lot of things have been happenin lately. its not good to always talk about problems in here. i wish someday id be writing happy memories in my turf. my friends always ask me - "are you ok?" and i just tell them "what do you think? obviously im not ok!". what a silly question. i feel so down. i feel so low. i have a lot of issues on myself right now. it includes the usual - my family probs, my work and some other. im so tired. my minds all messed up. my heart is so overused. i just dont understand why some people cannot be true to themselves. they always pretend and hide their real self. some people lie and deny just to save their faces and just to wash their own hands. too bad. they may not know its no good at all or maybe they are just bein insensitive and dont care about other peoples feelings. they always keep the 'i-dont-care-about-you' attitude. i really need a break. i need to get away. to sort things out and clear my mind. i need time for myself. just me, myself and i - for me to be able to find myself again. to realize who i really am and where i really belong. this has always been my dilemma. in the 24 years of my life, i always feel so outcast. i dont want to think that people loves to just use me. my friends always say that i am so kind, so good; that people take advantage of me. that is my weakness and i hate it. i am not weird, just eccentric. ill get away now ok? im out! poof!